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  • Under His Wings - Gwen Hanna

Choices on the Journey


And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness.

The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way;

wicked fools will not go about on it. Isaiah 35:9

God has given me much to ponder about choices, decisions both intentional and not that affect life – my own and the rings that surround me out beyond where I can even imagine where the effects are tidal wave in size.

My husband made disastrous decisions. Some decisions toward willful disobedience, and some, I’m sure, out of the foolishness of walking away from holiness. As he walked through his life, playing the part of a God-follower while allowing his heart, mind, and eyes to stray, the moment-by-moment decisions took on greater and greater destructive power. He had allowed himself the one small decision after another that left him out swinging so far from the plumb line that the only choice became a double identity. The one could lead the life of husband, father, missionary, son of missionaries. The other doomed to lurk in and out of secret hiding places taking greater and greater risks to fill the gap left by emptying his heart more and more of the truth.

Some decisions we make are with our words. Will I choose control and kindness? Or will I let my evil heart flow and let what comes out of my mouth just come? Some decisions are in actions. Will I choose to love well? Or will I be passive and let others do it?

All the while we frequently, and selfishly, believe that our choices only affect ourselves. We can be so focused on ourselves that we have a hard time comprehending that our words, good or evil, will echo in the halls of another’s mind an entire lifetime, forming actions, reactions, self-worth, and view of God and his love. We are frequently blinded to the reality that our actions, loving or hateful, can boost or scar another for life. We can so easily be focused on own goals and gain that we see our own splash and crave more without a thought about the ripples causing a tidal wave across the miles or across generations.

Choices. Free will is given to us to love or to flee Love, to die or to find Life.

Oh Jesus,

Fill my heart with your Spirit.

Call me to drink the living water you offer

And splash that on to others.

Guard my heart and soul,

The wellspring from which my choices of life or death flow.

Take my eyes off me and train them to only seek you.

As I make difficult choices, often between bad and a little better,

Draw me to you so that as the ripples flow out,

Rivers of life are soon to follow.

7/22/05 and 7/20/15


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